What do a Supreme Court Justice's position, a cancer prognosis, and Uncle Harry's drunken rantings all have in common?
They are all labeled "opinions!" No wonder we are all confused, upset, and angry!
The fussing, the fighting, the talk show shouting – it can all be blamed on our dictionaries. The very word, “opinion,” itself is the root of the problem. Our lexicon is letting us down.
I propose that we reduce unnecessary conflicts by adopting simple, rational definitions for these distinct categories of opinion. Here are the precise definitions of individual and familial opinions.
Official and organizational opinions are described in my next post.
OPINIONS – Refined and Redefined:
Yopinion: your opinion without proof or reason.
“Oh! Yeah! Well, that’s just yopinion! You can’t prove anything!”
Mopinion: my opinion, also requiring no reason or justification.
“I don’t care what anyone says, that’smopinion!”
Synonyms: mypinion, mepinion
Kinpinion: unquestioned traditional or hereditary family bias or prejudice. “We Capet’s, we always tops our grits with truffles, 'cause, in our kinpinion, that be the civilized way to eats ‘em.”
Duhpinion: vapid notion with absolutely no rationale or experience to justify it. “He did not take a shovel or blanket with him as he drove into the blizzard, because, in his duhpinion, he wouldn’t be needing them.”
Bozopinion: similar to duhpinion (but usually exclaimed by males under thirty years old who may be chronically inebriated.)
“Geesh, I dunno, in my bozopinion, I sez we jus’ toss all these extry fireworks into this har Bar-B-Q and put a match to ’er. Pass me that there lighter fluid! Whooee! This har is a-goin’ to be blowed up REAL GOOD!”
Retropinion: a fantasy-based opinion inspired by imaginary, golden yesteryears, usually prefaced by the phrase “Back in my day.” In retropinion, abusive drunks, philanderers, and closet perverts are romanticized into paragons of refinement. “Back in my day, Movie Stars had class!” (They drank martinis until comatose, chain-smoked with gold-plated cigarette holders, and imploded with flair.)
Antipinion: the contentious opinions of hard-core contrarians. Example: Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell.
Nopinion: honest description of their position by those who have not (or will not) consider the issue and, therefore, have not (and may never) come to a conclusion. “I don’t have any answer for you. Regarding that matter, I have nopinion.”
I am confident that, as these new definitions restore clarity to the public conversation and civility to the Great Debate, the opinion-ease they foster will benefit us all.
(You may disagree with me, of course, but that is just yopinion.)
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